La Vita Bella

OK so here is today’s post. The protagonist of this post is Dabbu whose life was dramatically changed by few Geeks and one Miss Pooja. Sometimes back Dabbu got selected in a high tech company .The company is full of geeks and each geek is unofficially given a level 0, 1, 2, 3 and so on depending upon how big a geek one is. Now poor Dabbu is clearly a misfit in this place. This is how he learnt some of his lessons of survival .

Scene-1

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Dabbu’s first day at office. His first encounter was with Geek-1. Geek-1 is a 5’ tall guy with 2’ long hair. He wears only Tantra T-shirts and listens only to hard rock. He was as usual glued to his computer when Dabbu arrives

Dabbu: Hi!!

Geek-1 turns around taking off his headphone . No smile on face

Geek-1:Oh Hi!

Dabbu: Actually I was asked by Mr Venkat to meet you to get an overview of work I would be doing.

Geek-1:Oh yes! He informed me. Lets discuss it in the meeting room

Inside the meeting room Geek-1 and Dabbu are sitting facing each other over the table. Dabbu a little nervous.

Geek-1:Ok before we start let me know what all technologies have you have worked on earlier?

Dabbu: *in a thinking pose*Worked?…Mmmm…. Hmmmm… Uuuuu I have ….mmm worked

Geek-1:(interrupting):OK never mind just tell me what all things do you know? And what is your proficiency level in them?

Dabbu: *scratches his head* . Well I don’t know much but I can stay late, may be till 7 in evening and learn things I don’t know.

Geek-1: Hmm. We work on Distributed Computing, Enterprise Applications, Server Engineering., J2EE etc Are you familiar with these?

Dabbu: Pardon??….Can you please repeat??

Geek-1:I said we work on Distributed Computing, Enterprise Applications, Server Engineering., J2EE etc. Are you familiar with any of these?

Dabbu: We work on .. ..Dis…what ?? What was after that??

Geek-1(clearly irritated):Phew!!! I think you should read following stuff before we can talk further.

After the meeting Dabbu saw the long list that Geek-1 gave him and was wondering if he has to sit in office till 7 in the evening or till 7 in the morning?. His definition of hard work got changed and Dabbu got his first lesson which was NO orkutting/ mailing/chatting when in office, only and only coding.

Scene2:

————————————————————————————————— Dabbu and Geek-2 are sitting facing each other having lunch. Geek-2 doesn’t like talking too much and is a kind of person who may want privacy even in a fish market. Dabbu was unaware of this and started the conversation.

Dabbu: Why are you having just the salad and nothing else?

Geek-2: Coz I think eating is a waste of time.

Dabbu: Just taste this biryani once. You will like it.

Geek-2:See I don’t like anything in this world.

Dabbu: Then why are you having salad??

Geek-2: Coz I can chew it faster and digest it faster.

Dabbu: OK I got it. What all things you don‘t like other than food??

Geek-2: People asking me stupid questions over lunch table.

Dabbu( realizing his mistake):ohh . Please carry one with salad. Do you want more.

Geek-2 was getting very irritated and first time looked at Dabbu’s plate which had so many stuffs in it.

Geek-2:Have you fixed the code I gave you?

Dabbu: Not yet. Actually I am not able to understand it.

Geek-2: Then why are you stuffing your stomach so much when you are required to stuff your brain which I can see is empty?With all this shit inside your stomach you will only sleep and the code will remain unfixed.

Dabbu got his second lesson. Eat less Work more. Now he only takes salad and one chapatti.

Scene3:

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Geek-3 is the most respected geek in the company. In fact he is not a geek , but a nerd who thinks geeks don’t spend enough time talking about computers. Unlike others he doesn’t even listen to hard rock. The only music in his life is the rhythmic sound of keyboard. Now Dabbu is standing near Geek-3’s desk. when Geek-3 was deeply engrossed writing some code.

Dabbu: Ahm Ahm

Geek-3:*Nods his head*

Dabbu: Ahm Ahm Ahm!!

Geek-3 pulls a chair with his right hand indicating Dabbu to sit. Left hand still on keyboard typing something. Dabbu takes the seat but calls for an attention after 5 min

Dabbu:Hello!!

Geek-3: *without looking at Dabbu*:Go on..

Dabbu: Actually there is a soft skill training session today. Shall I attend that?

Geek-3:*Nods his head*

Dabbu happily started to move. But Geek-3 suddenly stops him

Geek-3: Who is taking the session?

Dabbu: Miss Pooja from Enigma Human Consultancies . She would……..

Geek-3: You will not attend this session

Dabbu: Why?

Geek-3: You will attend the session by Mr Prasad on the same topic tomorrow.

Dabbu: *Stamps his foot* I wanna attend today’s session by Miss Pooja.

Geek-3: What is there in Miss Pooja ? Mr. Prasad also will tell the same.

Dabbu:*playing his last card* Actually There is a panache in the way Miss Pooja carries herself. She is so lovely , her smile is so refreshing and when she talks na it doesn’t just goes in mind it goes deep in heart. Miss Pooja makes me feel ……

Geek-3 turns his face towards Dabbu for the first time and interrupts him in between

Geek-3: Ahm Ahm.. Excuse me!! Come back to reality. Let me give you the last but the most important lesson. Females are the most dangerous species for a coder. If you want to do good in life forget Miss Pooja and any other woman.

Dabbu had no choice but to learn yet another lesson. Since that day without thinking much Dabbu followed this philosophy religiously

Scene-4
Dabbu got an unexpected call from a Job consultant.

Consultant: Hello am I speaking to Mr Dabbu??

Dabbu: Yes

Consultant: Sir, There is an urgent onsite requirement with our client for person of your kind of expertise.

Dabbu: May be you got a wrong number. I think you wanted to call one of those Geeks.

Consultant: No no sir its only for dabbu people like you.

Dabbu: Really?? That looks nice. Which country?

Consultant: Japan

Dabbu(replies immediately): No way.sorry I can’t go to Japan. Any other country?

Consultant: Whats the problem with Japan Sir?? Don’t worry there is not much work. Only some copy paste, that’s it.

Dabbu: No sorry. Not interested.

Consultant: Can I know why?

Dabbu: Don’t you know that Japan has more females than male?

Consultant: So what sir?

Dabbu:Those geeks says Females are poison. They are maya and I must stay away from them.Please find someone else I respect those geeks too much. They are always right.
Some how people in Dabbu’s company came to know about this incident. The Nerds and Geeks were so impressed with him that they don’t call him Dabbu anymore. They call him . any guesses??
Yes!! Geek-0