La Vita Bella

Finally I too did what men are so infamous for. Never thought that I would or rather I can do it but as the facts stand today, I did it. No matter how morally correct men pretend to be, they just can’t resist their evil temptations. I was no exception that day. I know there would be questions raised on my character and many readers will not come here again but still I have to say it as this is the only place where I am true to myself. So here is another episode from my till recently “beautiful life“.

Readers may know about my new found love for running in Jogger’s Park in the morning wee hours. This incident also took place at that eventful park. Now there is a girl who comes to park daily along with her family. The entire family goes for a long walk around the park and then do some yoga . However my interest lied only in her. I used to watch her fix her hairs which often get messed up after the day’s work out . She couldn’t fix those herself and her mom had to help her most of the times. She wanted to be independent , but just couldn’t . I admired the scene daily. The sweet irritation on her face whenever she tried hard to settle her hairs was what I longed to see.

That day to my surprise she came with a sporty “ponytail”. When she was jogging her pony was bouncing rhythmically with her small strides. I don’t know what happened to the gentleman in me, I went running to her and teasingly gave a slight dab to her pony, making it swing even more. Rest as they say is history.

Half a second later I found her white smiling face turn into dangerously red, another 1/4th second later I could see a big stone in her hand and another 1/8th second later I could see that stone heading towards my head with speed of light [300000000 m/s ].Einstein fans may want to leave here. I was standing five meters away from her, which meant I had only 0.0000000166 seconds to react out of which 0.00000001 seconds were wasted in doing this calculation and the remaining 0.0000000066s in recalling my class 12 lectures which said mass of body becomes infinite at speed of light. Shucks!! Now that stone already looked pretty heavy!!.

Then what happened was pure magic. I proved Einstein and his successors wrong. My hands moved with more than speed of light (don’t ask me how it is possible)and came between the stone and my head. Obviously Einstein forgot to put a constant in his famous equation which said I was my college cricket team wicketkeeper!!. The stone landed safely in my hand. (Well Kept!!)

When I was sure that I was still alive, I felt an increasing pain. It originated from the bottom half of the little finger of my left hand. I misjudged the catch a little. X-Rays showed a small fracture. Girl missed my head but hit me at the place where it hurts me even more. How did she know I spend most of my time before computer??. Mouse always has been a complicated device for me, I always relied on those keyboard shortcuts, but now life would be more of a mouse hunt. My two fingers are tied up in a plaster and I find it difficult to type with the remaining eight. Every time I have to type the letters “A“ or “Q” I am painfully reminded of that girl. Wow!! What a revenge she took!!!

Now I can’t clean my left ear as the swollen up little finger just doesn’t goes in. I can’t smash those buzzing mosquitoes for fear of further damage and worse I can’t even eat with both hands when I am voraciously hungry after the morning run. Moreover the plaster is at such an awkward position that it brakes off at the slightest movement and I have to check up with that illiterate doctor every now and then. He instead of fixing the plaster checks my heartbeat. God knows why? Eventually he wastes my valuable hour or so and asks for 500 bucks for doing nothing.

Now I wonder if an 8 year old kid girl can play such a havoc in my life what can a 20 something girl do?? Probably run a bulldozer over me. Some optimistic well wishers told that an adult Human has 206 bones in his body and out of which I still have 205 intact so technically speaking I can make some more attempts. Well… its true that I proved Einstien wrong but I have no idea if I’ll be able to prove Charles Darwin wrong too.The safer option would be to say NO to eve teasing and the safest I needn’t say you  know it already .

PS:Statistics on human bones are courtesy phoenix -:)